5 Clear Signs of Low Self-esteem

What is self-esteem?

According to mind.org.uk, Self–esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves. Self-esteem is an important part of how we evaluate our value and worthiness as human beings and individuals.

Your self-esteem will determine the decisions you make and the paths you choose to take in life.

For example, if you have healthy self-esteem, you will treat yourself and others with respect and make good decisions about your life because you know that you are worthy of a good life.

If you have low self-esteem, you may make decisions that self-sabotage and cause you to derail or give up on opportunities and people because you feel like you are not worthy of having them.

People who have low self-esteem often display obvious signs that are unmistakable. This lack of self-esteem colors every aspect of their lives and even if they put on a show for others – deep down they’re usually dissatisfied and unhappy.

Let’s look at the common signs of a lack of self-esteem…

1. Envy and negativity

The world is full of envious and negative people… and they can be easily seen on social media and in everyday life. They always have something negative to say and nothing and nobody is good enough for them. Signs of envy and negativity often show themselves in the comments and actions the person makes.

Someone who exhibits envious behavior will never be happy for you and will also try and compare themselves to others. When comparing themselves to others they’ll often find ways to try and reason why they are better than the person they are comparing themselves to.

Envious and negative people have a hard time showing support to others or celebrating those closest to them. Instead, they will find ways to make the people closest to them feel low.

The truth is that ‘hurt people, hurt people – and when someone lacks self-confidence, they always feel a need to prove to others that they’re better than them. Very often, they’ll not take any action in their own lives but merely use harsh words to act more intelligent and moral than others.

The end result is that they appear sour and bitter – and never set a good impression in front of others. Most individuals who carry this behavior lose friends easily and have a hard time maintaining healthy relationships.

2. Saying “Yes” to everything

At the other end of the spectrum are people who are eager to please just so that everyone likes them. They’ll take on their colleagues’ workload even if they’re already stressed out with their own projects and say yes to their friends just so that feel like they fit in with everyone.

They find it hard to say no even if they’re not agreeable to whatever is being presented to them. They don’t want to disappoint others even if it means discomfort to themselves.

People who exhibit this behavior often make up for what they may feel they lack within themselves. Saying yes to everything is a form of people-pleasing and people tend to people please when they feel they are not good enough.

Saying yes to everything is a sign of lack of confidence because you are putting others’ needs before your own just so you will be liked or looked at favorably. Saying yes to everything is never beneficial to a person and will only cause more problems and discomfort for the individual who is always saying yes.   

3. Poor Posture

This is so obvious that anyone will be able to see it. Someone who lacks self-confidence usually looks at the ground when they walk. Their shoulders are hunched and they tend to move around quietly or even furtively.

It’s almost like they’re a shadow – that hovers from point to point hoping that others don’t take notice.

Poor posture is a sure sign of low self-confidence.  Poor posture and covering up your body is a behavior that lets everyone know that you do not want to be seen. These individuals are often trying to disappear into the background and become invisible to the world.

For whatever reason, these individuals do not want to be seen by others and this behavior shows an extreme sign of low self-confidence.

4. Failure Mentality

One who lacks self-confidence will attribute any success that comes his/her way to luck. They just don’t believe that they’re capable of winning.

They fear failure and detest taking risks. Often, they have a ‘woe is me’ attitude and will not think twice about quitting the moment things get challenging.

People with low self-esteem will make excuses when someone praises them rather than just saying “Thank you!”. They feel embarrassed at being given credit because they don’t feel like they deserve it.

On the other hand, if you give them constructive criticism, they’ll take it poorly too and believe that you’re putting them down. So, they can neither take positive nor negative feedback.

People with low self-confidence see problems where there are none. They tend to sweat the small stuff and get easily offended by anything and everything.

Most individuals with this mentality see the world as a problem with no solutions and often exhibit an external locus of control; meaning that they blame everything wrong in their life on others and external factors.

People with the failure mentality are not usually successful and rarely set or meet life goals because they lack the self-confidence and control to do so.

5. Feelings of anger or worthlessness

Another sign of low self-confidence is feeling that you are worthless or having feelings of anger and/or bitterness towards others.

Feeling worthless is a sign of low self-esteem because that feeling of worthlessness is proof that you do not feel deserving of your desires. You may feel like your desires are out of reach for you and that you do not possess the right skillset, beauty, etc to obtain your desires. Of course, this thought is insane because we all have what it takes to bring our desires to fruition, but if you have low self-confidence you will think of yourself as not good enough or worthy of having good things.

Feelings of anger are another emotion that can show up if you have low self-confidence. Many feelings of anger will show up when we are reminded that we are not good enough (even though we are).  This anger is not generally aimed toward one specific person it is mostly used as a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from getting hurt by the things/people we really want but do not feel worthy of.

These are some of the most common signs of low self-confidence. The good news is that one can always develop confidence gradually. Having low self-confidence is not the end of the world. As a matter of fact, it’s the beginning of a new you.

Once you realize that you have low self-confidence you can begin to work on yourself and become the confident and resilient person you are meant to be. When you begin to trust and love yourself there is nothing that you cannot achieve.

Still not sure if you have low self-esteem? Take our Quiz “Do you have low self-esteem?”

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your handbrake on.” – Maxwell Maltz

More signs of low self-esteem

If you need more signs of low self-esteem check out this video. This video covers more warning signs of low self-esteem that were not covered in this post.